Forgive and Move On

by Ron D. Pate


Over the last few years I've worked hard to find people I can inspire and lead to a better future, and I've hired, either on incentive, salary, contract basis, or otherwise several of these people in an effort to grow my team. As I wrote in my book Leverage: A Key to Success and Wealth a few years back, it is hard to find great people, and the past few years have really brought this home to me.

One universal truth that has proven itself yet again in my life as I've sought to grow my companies is that people will burn you. Sometimes they do so intentionally, sometimes they do so even though they mean well. And sometimes, we even burn other people, even if we're not trying to.

Allow me to relate a particularly painful example from my own life. In one case I teamed up with a new real estate investor I met through other business dealings. This individual struck me as honest, sincere, and well meaning. Early on he seemed to have all these characteristics. As our relationship grew, I took more chances, and even loaned him $15,000 to help him out of a personal jam. Then we teamed up on a project that he would manage, but since he could not get financing, I agreed for my company to form a joint venture with him and to finance the project in exchange for his time and effort. After a year and half of getting to know this individual personally, I endorsed him in seminars, in private relationships, and even in my book. Unbelievably he reached a point of difficulty in his life which brought out his true colors, so to speak. For whatever reason he began stealing money from my company, stuck my company for a good portion remaining on the private loan, and walked away from the real estate deal that did not go as planned, leaving us holding the bag. All in all he caused damages in excess of $30,000 to my company not to mention the emotional hurt I felt from having been betrayed.

These types of situations happen to all of us from time to time. Sometimes the burning is minor, sometimes it is significant. Sometimes it is from strangers, sometimes friends, and sometimes even family members. In all cases, it hurts.

The key to success in this type of situation is forgiveness. Not forgiving the person at fault will cause you to revisit the pain frequently and will root your mind in the undesired past memory. Rather than living your life in the past, especially in a place in the past which will keep you from sleeping, cloud your focus, and make you ill, let it go. When you forgive, truly forgive, those who have burned you, you essentially set yourself free. You cannot undo what is passed so learn from it, thank God that you've been able to grow through the experience, do what you can to shore up the situation, and then forgive, and move on!

I can attest through personal experience that when you follow this advice, and when the forgiveness truly sinks in, it'll be like a burden lifted from your chest. You'll rest easier, will smile more, and will most importantly be able to sail unencumbered into your bright future.

We hope that you have found this article useful and we welcome your comments and suggestions.


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Copyright 2006 by Ron D. Pate. All rights reserved.